Posts Tagged ‘Relationship’

Boring

Posted: June 4, 2011 in Random
Tags: , , , ,

Life these few days has been pretty free and boring as I have had a few days of free time of my own. It’s been a long time since I have had so much “ME” time…

It’s me who asked for it and I got it so I cannot complain about anything as I should just get used to this so called new found freedom, although nothing much had changed because I will be back to work again in no time, which means no rest time again.

Did not manage to do much stuff these few days, only that I went out with cousie one of the days and I bought this bag which cost more than $100, goodness, it’s so ex! LOL!

I thought it was $89.90 initially and contemplated buying both colour but in the end, I only got the colour that I like after u realised that it costs almost $130! Its a nice bag but being blue, my favourite colour, it is a bit difficult to match… Oh wells, but I wouldn’t have purchases the brown because it’s easier to match because I was attracted to the blue bag immediately I saw it when I was standing outside the shop.

I just pretty much stayed home for the past two days and just wanted to rest and not do anything and perhaps emo, ad too many things have been happening and making feel a bit screwed up.

It made me realise that people that you care about does not necessarily will favour you at times and will just support the other party and make it seem like it is always your fault for feeling a certain way, if not better, people font even care or simply do not wish or knows what to do. Put simply, there us nothing that can be done to remedy, unless someone takes the first step.

As for the rest, I guess repeatedly saying and arguing over the same topic over and over again hurts, maybe it’s best for us to cool down and if you think you are that much better and that it’s my loss, I respect that because it’s partly my fault, but no one can seriously predict what’s gonna come off of a relationship, only time will tell everything.

Right now, I am not gonna think much, be it relationship, friendship… I am gonna just relax and see how it goes because not everyone cares about you and will side with you and it’s best that you just not think too much and think more about what you really want…

I just need to cool down and sort out everything, and although I am confused and do not know who will be there for me at this moment, I am sure I will be able to overcome everything. Like j say, time will heal everything and I will be back to who I am, the positive and decisive me that is confident of the things that I do and decisions that o make.

Enough of the rantings, I guess I am 语无伦次-ing LOL! Just wanna type something since I have not blogged for a long time.

Happy day to all! 🙂

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Well, its 4am now yet I am still awake surfing the net. Its probably not a good thing but since I am awake, I guess I should do some thinking. I was browsing thru the wordpress posts and I came across this feature that asks us to participate in a Post-a-day or Post-a-week kind of program to encourage one to blog more often. This is something interesting but perhaps I will not join in for now, maybe later…

There is one topic in there that asks, “How do you define “FRIEND”?
I suppose many people have different interpretations of the word “FRIEND” and different kind of expectation towards their friends. Hence, this is a interesting topic to discuss about as its quite sensitive at the same time, since people seldom talk about these “closer” topics these days, as relationships tend to be more “on the surface” kind, which is not a good thing.

For me, FRIEND is a person that have to exist and everyone will more or less have to come across many kind of friends but only a certain type will “click” with them.

I feel that a friend is someone that you know, and communicate well with. He/she is someone that you will think about and interact with at different stages of your life. They are also people that are very difficult for you to maintain contact with, as people tend to forget their “older” friends when they move on to another stage of their life when they get to know newer friends. It is more of a cycle thing and that is the reality of life. =( sad to say…

However, there are also those friends that people keep in contact with and would meet up often to have some fun!!!
It really takes effort to maintain a friendship and effort for people to really understand their friends andhow they feel. Even if people knows how their friend are feeling, they may not actually show it out due to people being more conservative nowadays. Whoa, I can only say that as a person matures, their perception on relationships would change, hopefully for the better, that they will start to appreciate things more and realise that they should not take many things for granted, including their friends.  

I guess friends are buddies that are always with you when you need them and vice versa, and those who are part of your life in all stages of it – A more general and correct answer. =)

Good Night!!!
Have a happy day ahead!!!!!!! =]

After a long hiatus… I chanced upon “my this blog” again and realised the last time I blogged here was like a super duper long time ago, I think the blog going to seh gor liao lo!!! lol!
Think this should be a good avenue to express whatever I want since not many people will be reading it ultimately I guess! *Hush*

Its been a roller coaster ride for me this past few months. A lot of things have changed and I feel that on a personal level, I have changed a lot as well. My thinking have changed a lot as well…
A lot of my previous feelings/mindsets have changed since I enlisted and I must say that army indeed does changes a person to a certain extent, be it in terms of maturity or how a person behaves.

I used to be a super positive person and no matter what happens, I will always think positively (Baby knows that the most), but recently, its been a little tough to keep up with this “xing nian” of mine as I tend to get “emo” very easily and I also think a lot a lot a lot, which is something that I don’t usually do in the past and as a matter of face, I don’t even bother to think so much last time. I have no idea what exactly brought about the change in me but I sure hope that it will be a good change which reaps more benefits for me. One can only hope for this as its not something that is confirmed.

Well… I personally feel that coming to army could be a good thing and experience overall, although there are good and bad things that happened but it actually let one understand a lot and see more of things than what they usually see in their own personal “squared corner” of their lives. I have had a great time in BMT as I learnt a lot of new skills and made new friends along the way too, although we seldom contact each other anymore, which is a pity but I guess that is how life is… It takes a pair of hand to clap! So, if only one person makes an effort to maintain contact with the othet while the other isn’t, there is no way the friendship will be lasting. Sames goes with love relationships.
Although there are many ups and downs in BMT, I really cherished many moments that have taken place, though I feel that the others have long forgotten about it. I guess I am really a more emotional guy and likes to think a lot of the past and reminisce them once in a while. I cannot force everyone to think and feel like I do as its impossible but I can only hope that people around me can understand me more as I am really just a very SIMPLE guy. Like I say, I can have many friends or rather I should say, a group of friends that I know but i really just need one or two person that really understands me and most importantly, cares about me as a friend. thats all that matters. Of course, my baby is very important to me as she plays an important role in my life as well.

I guess its really in my character that whenever I start to become close to someone, it becomes inevitable that I will quarrel or be unhappy with the person after a while, no matter what reason it is for and it may be a good thing as quarells could lead to a better friendship and better understanding but a severe one could be hurtful. Sometimes, I really find it difficult to know who I can actually trust and who really cares about me as a good friend as people nowadays do not express themselves and even if they do, we do not know whether its for real or not. I, would be a good example, as I may really care for a person but because of my character being stubborn and “yao mian zi”, it is difficult for me to show concern to people. I guess its the same for the others, or maybe they don’t even give a damn about this kind of stuff. Hence, people may think that I am a weird person but honestly, I would only say that maybe I am a more emotional person and would think a lot more than what normal guys would think?! I don’t know! Perhaps they think a lot too, but they just do not reveal themselves. 

It has always been the case since primary school. I always needed to have people that I trust and people that really cares about me to be around me as I will feel more safe and happier, which is actually quite a common sensical thing. I am more of the kind of person that is satisfied to be able to be my clique of friends and I do not have to go out with a whole bunch of friends. In recent months, I also started to agree with how baby thinks and that is going out with friends, etc in a group can be fun but it is better if the total number of people is in even number. This way, people will not be neglected. I always pay attention to this sort of things as usually, when we go out in odd numbers, I will be able to sense if there is an odd person out that feels bored or neglected, I will then try to talk to the person to make it a group discussion so that everyone is in the picture and not feel bored. Sadly, not everyone is as sensitive when it comes tot his kind of issues and I am that kind of guy that doesn’t like it when I am neglected. I do not need you to always be talking to me, I just need some attention from people at times and thats enough for me.

As I was saying previously, I do not know why is it that I tend to quarrel with a person after I get closer to the person and this is something I need to evaluate on. I guess it could be that I take people for granted and vice versa. Sometimes, I feel that although I do a lot of things for others, people seems to take them for granted and not really care about them. I do not think that these gestures need to really be reciprocated but I sure hope that people will not ignore things that I do or even make a story out of things that I do, even though those are nice gestures. Hence, I really hope to be able to find my close buddy that knows me so that I will not be bored or at least help me when I am upset or emoing, as I really do not want to be a fake person, that I hope I am not becoming into. I just want to be the person that I am before I enlisted, the cheerful guy that is always happy and making cold jokes that people cannot laugh. lol.

I guess things seems to get harder to understand when one grows up. This could be the parts and parcels of life and one will only be able to understand it after growing up or perhaps people that you care about do not really even care about you and things that you do, that is why no matter what you do, its gone to waste.

I would say I do not like the feeling of being neglected as I am a person that is more quiet at times and do not take initiative to talk to others (not that I am dao or what) but I just need people who knows me and understands me to come over and add me into the conversation and not leave me hanging there alone. I could very well just start something or join in, which is quite normal but its just beyond me as I find it kind of funny or difficult to do it. So, I find it quite saddening that relationships can be quite unstable at times, as things are not always how you think they are. When you think you are close to a person, it might not be the case as it might just be a one-sided thing.

Luckily for me, I still have baby supporting me always. Although we may have some mini disputes nowadays but thats just normal and it actually improves our relationship, which is a good thing. I just hope to be able to clear off all these friendship issues and stuff as I have come over it before so I think I can do it again.

My army friends would always say this, “Men will only worry about women and money.” I agree with this sentence but only to a certain extent as the sentence could very well be just a vague comment that appears almost everywhere, be it on Tv shows, books and even during casual comments and chats among people. Do you really not care about friend issues? I believe disputes with your friends will definitely affect one’s moods. There are also many other things that people care about. Women and money are just two of the issues that surfaces more often as one usually do not have too much of an issue with other issues as they might not care so much or they are very good and handling other issues that they do not have a problem with it. Thus, I feel that relationships, etc including friendships are all very important as they matter to me and will affect how I feel. I just hope people will understand why I am feeling so emotional as I care about my friends and I hope people knows about it as I feel neglected and hurt at times by the things that they say or do if they overdo it, as I am usually an amicable and patient person if no one makes me angry. Of course, I can take jokes and all, it gets a little bit irritating when people gang up against you to not tell you something when its just a simple thing and I can get pissed off for a while as I do not like to be kept in the dark, especially when its just about something so casual. I have said that I only cared for these few people but sometimes it seems that people do not really care whether I care or not so I sometimes feel that whether what I do or things that I do to help people, whether they know it or not, comes unappreciated. A simple gesture like replying my message or greeting someone to wish them during special occasions would be something nice to show their gestures. That is something I would do. Perhaps, not everyone is like this as majority of the people are not like that. Its usually those that you least expect that wishes you and not someone that you hope for that will wish you, not even your girlfriends at times. I just hope people will understand me more bahx!  

A few years back, I used to think whether my best friend treats me as the priority friend or perhaps he treats his other best friend as priority, but now, I feel that its alright no matter what it is, what  matters is that we are all best friends that knows each other and are there for each other in times of need. Thats one issue settled for my civilian life friends. I guess I need tonot think that much and perhaps treat everyone more equally and not care about this kind of stuff that much as all these problems will be gone once I ORD!!! Hohoho!!! I would still hope to be in contact with all my friends though, which is something I am trying to do in recent weeks but whether its a success or not remains to be seen as it takes a lot of effort to be able to do so.

Well, I guess I feel so much better after pouring everything out. This could very well be a small issue blown up but it is also something that is stuck inside you that will make you feel very “gaowei” and “pekchek” of it is not resolved. I guess Chao and I are facing the same kind of problems now as he is also feeling sad about some of his work stuff that is affecting his performance in his job as well as his relationship with the others in his office.

Hope this year will be a better year for everyone and that the issue could be faster resolved!!! 
All I need is someone that understands me, like a best friend or good friend, in all aspects of like, be it work, school etc, as I am more of a person that needs security and affirmation. Lots of things and words to bring me down doesn;t help. Inadvertent things that are done that could be meant as a joke can be tolerated but once it gets out of hand because it happens too many a times, it will affect the relationship, which is what I dread the most.

I feel so blank now as all my feelings are unloaded!!! Hhaahaha! Phew!
It seems that I might be saying too much that I shoulsn’t be saying but who cares and give a shit, this is just how I feel at the moment. =) I guess I am just a person that cares a lot about love relationship and friendship!!! =D
As I am typing this, the Bak Kwa advert on TV makes me feel like eating it. I will be eating it in two weeks time and CNY is coming so lots of goodies to eat. Haha! Hope I will become a happier person and be positive like how I was in the past. I know I can not far away from this goal. =)))